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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26008642">Never a Forever After</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/YatLuvG/pseuds/YatLuvG'>YatLuvG</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Arranged Marriage, Childhood Friends, First Love, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, M/M, Tragedy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:34:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,481</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26008642</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/YatLuvG/pseuds/YatLuvG</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Who is this pretty man, grandpa?"</p><p>"That's Byun Baekhyun." </p><p>His grandson tilted his head, looking at him expectantly.</p><p>"He was my childhood friend..." he paused, "and my first love."</p><p>"Where is he now?"</p><p>"Heㅡ" Chanyeol paused, "He died the night I got married to your grandma."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Never a Forever After</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/soloeyists/gifts">soloeyists</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi my dear Syue. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART!!!! May your life always be filled with lots of love and never ending happiness. I hope you'll find your happiness and keep till the end of time. You're someone very dear and precious to me. Thank you for everything you have done for me. Thank you for being born. I love you. &lt;3</p><p>I know you've been asking for this fic to be written since the first day I had written that prompt. heh. Talk about me being a sucker for angst but look at where we are now! But anyway, I'm sorry this fic was written in such a rush, you know how I am with my writing. I'm so bad at it and my perfectionist ass is beating myself over how bad this is written so expect me to rewrite this chapter back when I write the rest of them. Yes, it's chaptered because my incompetent skinny ass couldn't finish it before your birthday. ehehe. </p><p>I love you, Syue. I hope you like this fic even though it is set to hurt my readers. ahakz. I'm evil I know, still love you though. Happy Birthday, munchkin!! &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>-Never a Forever After-</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I’ve opened all of me for you<br/>My eyes, the deepest part of my heart<br/>In a world that’s closed without a small crack<br/>It’s the only place that’s open for you</p><p>
  <em>—EXO; They Never Know</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Hey, the sun is already up.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The deep voice resonated in the quiet room. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A shaky breath was drawn, dragged over a tightened throat; like there were hands fastened around the neck of the man kneeling by the bed. Yet, the one that was feeling suffocated and in terrible pains was the heart. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>His heart. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I know you’re tired. You probably cried yourself to sleep again. You spent the night reading sad romantic novel again, didn’t you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He brought a trembling finger to hover over the face of the man who was lying on the bed, soundly asleep, knocking his breath away by his beauty. Even with his eyes closed, deep in his slumber, Byun Baekhyun was still the prettiest man he had ever laid his eyes on. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s time to wake up, Baekhyun.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He touched the sleeping man’s button nose, the cold skin hardened underneath his finger and he shuddered over the coldness—over the implication it brought with it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Chanyeol swallowed the invisible lump in his throat…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Open your eyes for me, baby.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>… and blinked his glassy eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m here now.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>*</em> <em>**</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>Life flew like a river in a wild forest. Sometimes they were calm, curving gently across the forest—minding its own business, beautiful in its own wild way. There were also bad days where the stream was harsh, wild and chaotic as it flew down the hill in all of its fury and grief—crashing anything blocking its way. But the river will flow, it will always be until it ends with a waterfall; a dramatic fall before it quietened down, resting in a form of a lake.</p><p>Park Chanyeol saw the world like a big wild forest and the river was his lifeline.</p><p>He knew if he looked further up, he will see his river split into two streams; a small river connected to his long one; a river he would have ridden his whole life if it hadn’t been cruelly cut short. The riverside will be full of beautiful flowers, white and yellow washed over the green ground like splotches of paints in one of his paintings. The small river will end with a waterfall and if he followed the stream, falling into the fall of the harsh current, he would be pulled into the embrace of a calm lake. The water will be warm, just like how <em>that person</em> had always been. The person who was now staring back at him from the old photo in his hand.</p><p>Chanyeol was sitting at the backseat of a moving car, quietly humming to Kim Bumsoo’s I Miss You playing on the radio. His daughter and his son in law were seated at the front, both quietly enjoying the front view of the countryside as their car slide down the road, heading to the place that Chanyeol had long left behind after he married her daughter’s mother.</p><p>He had taken out his wallet then. The leather case had opened to a piece of old photo, perfectly tucked behind the plastic cover of one of the wallet’s pockets. It was a photo of two men in their early twenties, dressed smartly as they stood closed to each other, side by side while smiling widely to the camera.</p><p>Chanyeol’s old heart did a small flip at the sight before his eyes. His thick calloused thumb rubbed gently over the photo of the man with the glasses. Even after centuries had passed, the smile on the grainy timeworn photo still tugged his heart the same way they always did.</p><p>The tip of his lips were pulled into a small soft smile as he reminisced his younger days filled with rectangular smiles and loud boisterous laughter.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I miss you, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss you so much I hate myself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I want to cry down on my knees. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>If only this can be something that never happened.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The memories of us crazy in love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Those memories are searching for you…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>There was a shift, a movement beside him before a soft and warm body of another human draped all over his right side, invading his personal space, but Chanyeol had smiled softly at the gesture. His eyes landed on a blob of messy black hair. A tiny finger reached to his wallet and stopped at the old photo he was staring at a few seconds ago. A pair of small curious eyes looked keenly at the piece of paper with his most precious memory printed in reddish brown colour.</p><p>“Who is this pretty man, grandpa?” The child asked.</p><p>He had pulled himself further up in his attempt to take a closer look of the photo. Half of his body now rested rather comfortably on Chanyeol’s lap despite the awkward position. The old man said nothing but leaned down and put his arm around the child’s shoulders.</p><p>“That’s Byun Baekhyun.” He answered with a ghost of a longing smile on his wrinkled face.</p><p>His grandson titled his head, looking at him expectantly. Chanyeol let out a small laugh, knowing exactly what was expected from him.</p><p>“He was my childhood friend…” he paused, contemplating his next word but decided that it was time for the little one to be introduced to his Baekhyun. “and my first love.”</p><p>“First love?”</p><p>He hummed a respond.</p><p>“Like mama and dada?”</p><p>They both looked up to the front seat by reflex and Chanyeol caught his daughter’s smile reflected on the rear-view mirror. He smiled back in return, feeling the warmth of a love so pure embracing him from the inside.</p><p>“Mm.”</p><p>“Where is he now?”</p><p>He looked back to his grandson with a slightly widened eyes, caught off guards by the question that he was rendered silence. He suddenly lost his words under the vast depth of a pair of curious brown eyes.</p><p>How does he put the greatest pains of his life into words, appropriate enough for a six years old child to understand him?</p><p>“Hyunnie,” he was about to attempt an answer when his daughter cut him off. “stop bothering your grandpa, okay? He needs to rest.” She was looking at her son with a gentle smile but the worries glinted in her eyes was loud even for Chanyeol.</p><p>“But mom, I want to know.” Hyunnie whined.</p><p>“Park Hyunsik—”</p><p>Chanyeol shook his head, stopping his daughter midway from scolding her son and she relented albeit reluctantly.</p><p>“Hyunnie wants to know?”</p><p>He placed his palm on the child’s head, patting it gently when his grandson replied him with a quiet <em>‘yes’.</em></p><p>“He—” Chanyeol paused, the words always died in his throat, drowning in the way his chest tightened in a painful knot. He swallowed it all down, forcing himself to speak.</p><p>“He died the night I got married to your grandma.”</p><p>And to this, his grandson asked with the saddest eyes he had seen on the child, “But why?”</p><p>“The world is nothing but a big scary place, little one.  They take anything and everything they want as they pleased, most times without a warning. If they are feeling generous enough, they would give you something in return.” He explained roughly.  </p><p>“And in exchange of losing <em>him</em>, I got you and your mother.”</p><p>“Who are they, grandpa?”</p><p>“They are bad people, Hyunnie. A bunch of ignorant and pretentious people who think that they know better than those they claimed to love.”</p><p>“Do you regret it, grandpa?”</p><p>“Of what, little one?”</p><p>“Of having me and mama?”</p><p>“What—of course not, sweetheart.” He leaned down and kissed his grandson’s hair, earning a smile from the small child.</p><p>“Then, do you regret losing this pretty man?”</p><p>He dragged a shaky breath in response, eyes glinted with unshed tears.</p><p>“More than anything in this world—<em>more</em> than my life had ever worth.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>Summer of 1961.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>“Do you want to play football with us?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I can’t.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You mean you don’t know how? I can teach you if you want.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No. I mean, I really can’t.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chanyeol was ten years old when he met that small skinny boy at the run down field where his friends and him usually played football.</p><p>It was a sunny evening and the weather was warm yet windy. It was a good day after all, especially when he had kicked the ball off the field and a boy, smaller than him, tilted his head curiously towards him when Chanyeol had shouted, rather kindly, for him to kick the ball back to him.</p><p>The small boy had picked it up instead, while walking rather slowly, to him. It piqued on Chanyeol’s curiosity so he had asked when the boy handed the ball to him.</p><p>“Thank you.” He started, “You could have just kick it, you know.”</p><p>The boy’s grin was soft and pretty when he answered, “I know but I can’t.”</p><p>He had wanted to ask more, wanted to understand why he couldn’t but instead he had asked if the boy wanted to play with them but he had received the same answer, even after offering it the second time.</p><p>Chanyeol frowned.</p><p>“You’re weird.” He had blurted out.</p><p>“And your ears are big.” The boy had retorted with a playful albeit amused tone.</p><p>“Huh?” The confusion splayed over Chanyeol’s sweaty face was an understatement of how he was truly and utterly confused by the whole ordeal.</p><p>The smaller boy had giggled and tilted his head cutely at Chanyeol’s respond. He must have looked so funny because there was no way in hell could this boy be giggling so cutely over his usually handsome face.</p><p><em>“Chanyeol! What took you so long? Hurry up!” </em>His friends had yelled then, cutting off their moment and he had looked back at them with his hand flailing in the air.</p><p>“You should go. They’re calling for you.” The boy had said almost shyly. His slanted eyes crinkled into crescent moons when he smiled.</p><p>“I—” he had paused, unsure of what to say but he knew that he didn’t want the boy to go just yet.</p><p>“You’ll see me again. Don’t worry, butterfly.”</p><p>“<em>Butterfly</em>?”</p><p>The boy had hummed an answer. “It’s your ears.” He had said while flapping his small hands behind his equally big ears.</p><p>“Oh.” Chanyeol’s fingers had reached for his ears despite the shock on his face. “People says it reminds them of an elephant, never a butterfly.”</p><p>“Oh really? But you are pretty, like butterfly!” the boy had spread his hands while smiling prettily to Chanyeol. That was the first time he had heard someone called him pretty.</p><p>
  <em>Chanyeol is pretty?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Chanyeol!!” </em>
</p><p>“Uhm…I have to go.” He had looked back and forth between his friends and the boy, slowly panicking inside.</p><p>“I’ll see you, Chanyeol.” The boy had said softly, too softly that Chanyeol had barely heard it before he waved his small hands as he watched Chanyeol running back to his friends with their ball.</p><p>It was after he had kicked the ball that he realized he had never asked for the small boy’s name. His body had turned back towards where he came just a while ago but there was only a ghost of the small boy’s soft smile greeting him back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The second time he had met the small boy was when he was climbing a pine tree by the end of their village hill.</p><p>“Now you looked like a monkey instead.”</p><p>Chanyeol had looked down from the big sturdy branch he was resting his butt on and caught the slanted eyes squinting to look up at him. He had recognized the boy right away, his head tilted curiously as the tip of his lips were pulled sideway in a small smile.</p><p>“Oh, it’s you.”</p><p>“Me?” The boy had asked in return. </p><p>“Yes, you. The boy from the football field.”</p><p>“Oh yes, that’s me.” The boy had smiled then; thin lips stretched so prettily that it was starting to blind Chanyeol from on top of the tree.</p><p>“Why do you always compared me to animals?” he had asked instead.</p><p>“Butterfly is an insect.”</p><p><em>Oh, a smart one huh.</em> Chanyeol had thought while he swayed his feet, still sitting on the tree branch with no intention of climbing down yet.</p><p>“Still an animal,” he paused, doubting himself. “In some ways.”</p><p>The boy had shrugged in return and this had piqued on Chanyeol’s interest.</p><p>“Do you want to climb up and sit beside me?”</p><p>The boy had shaken his head, a stern look was on his face later on when he said, “My father said I shouldn’t climb a tree.”</p><p>“Did your father said you shouldn’t play football too?”</p><p>The boy had nodded and Chanyeol had frowned in return.</p><p>“There is something wrong with your father.”</p><p>“My father is fine, Chanyeol.”</p><p>Chanyeol gawked at the small boy who was still straining his neck upward to look at him. Chanyeol had pondered on his options then, eyes never leaving the boy who had taken all of his attention now.</p><p>“Do you want me to come down?”</p><p>“I would appreciate that on behalf of my now aching neck.” The boy had replied rather politely. “Please.” He had added after a second had passed and that was enough to get Chanyeol down.</p><p>Chanyeol had learned later that the small boy’s name was Baekhyun, <em>Byun Baekhyun</em>. He was ten years old just like Chanyeol but was seven months older than him. Baekhyun had just moved in to their village, along with his father, he never mentioned his mother though and Chanyeol hadn’t asked. He also noticed that Baekhyun walked rather slowly, as if he was careful not to overuse his energy, unlike Chanyeol who wouldn’t stand to stay still even for a second.</p><p>“How do you get here, Baekhyun?” He had asked later when they were riding his bicycle up to the hill, on their way back to their home. Baekhyun was seated on the back of Chanyeol’s bicycle, his small skinny hands wrapped around Chanyeol’s wide waist.</p><p>“By foot.”</p><p>Chanyeol had sighed, defeated. “Of course Baekhyun, of course.”</p><p>He didn’t miss the way the hands around his waist had tightened and a smile was formed on the face that was now rubbing on his back like a cat.</p><p>“Hey Baekhyun.”</p><p>“Mm?”</p><p>“Want to be my friend?”</p><p>“I thought we are already one when I asked for your name?”</p><p>Chanyeol snorted, “That’s not how you make friend!”</p><p>“Then how?” Baekhyun had tilted his head cutely to him then.</p><p>“I’ll show you.” Chanyeol’s smile was so wide then, the widest it had been since the day he had learned how to smile and the smile mirroring his in return could never be compared to anything else in the whole world.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>to be continued.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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